Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My feet surprised me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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