i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
