It's a beautiful day for a hangover
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
