he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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