I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
