I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
