She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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