How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
