I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
