It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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