what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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