my phone needs a breathalizer
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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