we have officially lost it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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