His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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