She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
