Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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