just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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