I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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