I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
