He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
