I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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