my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
