Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I won the penis lottery.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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