his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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