Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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