let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
