And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
