I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
