bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
