and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
