Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
