he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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