Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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