hotel room ftw
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize