Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
