can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
