there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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