So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
