That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
