She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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