I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize