When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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