All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
