She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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