thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
