I cockslap morals
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
