I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am spending my child support on dildos
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
