whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
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