I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
