If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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