um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
