i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
