That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
bring money and cleavage
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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