This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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