Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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