Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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