I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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