idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
