then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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